Toughness or Toxicity?

Episode 53: Caroline Laramie (Ice Hockey Mom)

🎙 In this episode: I talk with Caroline Laramie, a parent deeply embedded in the world of Northeast youth hockey. From town leagues to elite club teams, she’s seen it all—and she’s not shy about calling out the cracks in the system. We dig into hockey’s cultural norms, the pressure cooker of competitive youth sports, and the darker side that often goes unchecked.

🔹 A Culture Unto Itself
In the Northeast, hockey isn’t just a sport—it’s a way of life. That comes with deep pride... and deep problems...

🔹 More Players, Fewer Spots
Thousands chase a dream with limited college roster spots. The math doesn’t add up—and it’s stressing families out.

🔹 Club Over Community
Club teams are edging out local leagues, often leaving behind kids who can’t afford to keep up.

🔹 Parents: Fuel or Fire?
Well-meaning parents can unintentionally drive kids to burnout with year-round pressure to "make it."

🔹 Toughness at All Costs
Hockey celebrates grit—but that culture can minimize injuries, pain, and emotional strain in young athletes.

🔹 The Party on the Sidelines
Alcohol use is becoming common among hockey parents, affecting the environment at games and tournaments.

🔹 Billeting: High Risk, Low Oversight
Sending teens to live with strangers for hockey? It's more common than you think—and raises big concerns for academics and safety.

🔹 Hazing, Still Happening
Behind closed doors, hazing remains a serious issue in youth and junior hockey. Too often, it’s dismissed as “tradition.”

🔹 Masculinity in Overdrive
Toxic behaviors among players and parents are often overlooked in a sport that prizes aggression and “toughness.”

🔹 Where’s the Diversity?
Hockey remains overwhelmingly white and upper-class. Caroline shares what’s missing—and what needs to change.

🔹 The Cost of Belonging
When success in youth hockey means year-round travel, full-time commitment, and thousands in fees, who really gets to play?

🔹 Time for a Gut Check
If we really care about kids, Caroline asks: why are we tolerating a system that often leaves them bruised—literally and figuratively?